Chisumi (Blood Ink)
by InkanSpider
Summary: "There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy" - Friedrich Nietzsche. Nishinoya has a blood sickness, but hasn't told anyone. Well, everyone figures out when he one day faints at a practice match against Nekoma. Old scars are ripped open, and we learn that some people are not what we think they are at first glance.
1. Chapter 1

**So, a new fanfic. Don't be worried that I have forgotten Memento Mori, I will update it soon enough. I was just so into posting this for now, but the next chapter should come soon.**

 **As for this one, I was really inspired by and author on AO3 called Aetherdrive, who is, simply put, a GOD at writing Haikyuu fanfics. He is really good, so I suggest that you read some of his stories. Either way, I was inspired by his way of writing fancitions based on personal stuff, so I wanted to try something similar. This doesn't have so much personal stuff in it, except for some thinking from the different characters. Some of them are taken directly from myself. This will be the first part in a series of four. Each one will focus on a different set of characters, but will still be partly connected.**

 **I don't own Haikyuu!**

It was no secret to either the Karasuno team or the Nekoma team that their first match against each other was something they wanted to redo. For most of them, the time before the Inter-High felt pretty hollow, not having a really good team to play against. So after the Inter-High tournament was over, they agreed to have another training camp with only Karasuno and Nekoma present.

The trees outside was beautifully coloured in red, orange, yellow and gold. The wind was slightly chilly and blew only lightly, enough to make the leaves on the ground move. Everything about the nature was telling that winter was coming, and maybe snow would come as well, which was more likely than in Tokyo. But inside the gym of Karasuno High, there was nothing such as cold or chilly winds. In there was nothing more than the harsh sounds of volleyballs hitting walls, floors and skin. It perfectly mixed with the sound of heavy breathing and the hot yet heavy atmosphere.

"One more time!" This sentence had over time become the one thing that most people connected to Karasuno, the team that never gave up in the first place. Right now, they were playing quite even against their long-time (but at the same time quite recently met) rival.

"Nice receive, Nishinoya!" Said boy, Nishinoya, grinned as he saw the ball fly across their part of the field, only seconds later to smash against the floor on the other side of the net. He loved this, everything about volleyball made him happy. It could be anything like how to teach the first years to make a good receive, to feel the constant rush of adrenaline during a match. But even more, he loved the praises he got when he got a receive right. Especially the once he got from Asahi or Sugawara. But mostly Asahi. Nishinoya can't remember the first time he started to feel different about Asahi then the others. Sure Daichi and Suga was great to talk to, Ryuu was just like him and fun to mess with and the first years always came up with something new to impress him. But, Asahi was different. Sure he had a heart of pure glass and got scared whenever he tried to hold a conversation, but even so he was always there for him. But no matter how he looked at it, Asahi would never feel the same back.

"Nishinoya! It's yours!" Daichi suddenly yelled. And sure there came the ball flying right at him.

"Alright!" Returning it wasn't hard. Soon it was back at the other team. He could see how the other libero received it and it flew back.

'Okay. That one's all mine' He thought with a grin. But suddenly, something happened.

His vision started to darken, even making out persons became hard. He felt like all air had stopped in his throat, none was going down or up, as it at the same time became harder and harder to breath. Some strange sound went through his ears and he felt his knees give in.

'No... No, not yet! It wasn't supposed to happen just yet!' He thought just before everything went black.

The rest of the Karasuno team and Nekoma saw how the small libero collapsed on the floor, obviously unconscious. It only took five seconds before Sugawara, Tanaka and Asahi were by his side. Tanaka took hold of the boy's shoulders and rolled him over on his back. Nishinoya's face showed pain and slight panic. He had started to become pale as well.

"Noya? Hey Noya, wake up! What's wrong, buddy?!" The second year asked in concern. Suga took the smaller boy's wrist and checked his pulse.

"His pulse is really low. It should be higher by now..."

Suddenly Hinata came and sat down beside them. He had Karasuno's first aid bag, which had previously been laying by the sideline. He opened the bag and took out a clean needle and a compress. He took Nishinoya's hand from Suga and stroke his thumb over it. When finished, he took the needle and guided it up to the pale hand.

"Wow, wait there Hinata! Just what are you doing?" Asahi said. "Are you planning on _hurting_ him?!"

"If I don't do this, then I won't know if my theory is correct. And if I'm correct, then he needs to immediately go to the hospital. So please let me do this!" Hinata said, almost pleading. Both Asahi and Suga was uncertain, they didn't want to let Nishinoya get hurt. But they knew that Hinata would never do anything without a reason. Out of everyone, Tanaka had already made up his mind.

"Not too deep, OK?" He said. Hinata nodded and then got started.

He stroke the hand again, searching for a big good vein of blood. When found it, he took the needle and made a cut right along the vein, maybe two centimeters in width but only deep enough for it to bleed. The time for the blood to reach the surface was really long, almost too long. And when it spilled over, it ran far too slow. It was dark red, almost black, and was really thick when you felt on it. Under his breath, he muttered the words 'Knew it'.

"So? How does it look?" Tanaka asked.

"You might have to pick up that phone of yours. He needs an ambulance right away. Meanwhile, we need to move him. Let's move him to the bench".

Quickly Asahi took the unconscious boy in his arms and carried him carefully to the closest bench. Soon came Kageyama over to them. He was holding his phone, with a rare concern and panic written all over him.

"The ambulance is on it's way. Just what happened just now?" He said. Hinata widened his eyes in surprise, but calmed down soon after.

"Well, I didn't expect him to tell you anything, since you are so polar opposites. But Asahi, you guys know right? About his condition?" He said. Now it was Asahi, Suga and Daichi's turn to blink in surprise.

"What... condition? Noya hasn't said anything to us" Suga said.

"But what about you, Tanaka?" Hinata couldn't believe his ears just now.

"No, nothing. If there was something serious going on, I thought he would have told me" Tanaka said. Hinata looked like he'd seen a ghost, his face paled and his eyes once again went wide. Sure, he knew that many people hold secrets (he sure did that himself), but he never imagined Nishinoya to hold such a disease a secret from the people he was closest to. And why tell him? But he soon found the answer, and cursed himself.

"Damn... You're such a bastard, Noya" He said.

"What?" Tanaka asked.

"Noya once told me about his issue, but he was so straight-forward about it so I thought it was something you already knew about. He probably knew how I usually think, so he knew I wouldn't bring it up to anyone..."

"He's really smart when he needs to" Daichi said. Soon they heard the sounds of sirens and the ambulance came rolling to the gymnasium.


	2. Chapter 2

If the waiting for the ambulance wasn't bad enough, the waiting for the doctor to come out was killing Asahi. Hinata had told them what he already knew, that it was a really rare blood-disease. Even though he didn't knew how serious it was, he knew that Nishinoya had had it for years. Even since he was in his early teens. Hinata's guess was that Nishinoya had probably overworked himself or because of stress, both guesses seemed logical when it came to Nishinoya. Finally, the painful waiting was over.

"Well, well. That was a close call. Good that you called so quickly, another minute and he wouldn't have made it" The doctor, a tall middle-age man, said.

"How serious is it?" Daichi asked.

"Either way we would have to draw blood from him, but since he was unconscious it was a hard decision to make. Begin unconscious makes the blood run slower, and drawing blood makes it run even slower. He could have died if the wrong decision was made. But now he is fine, we're letting him rest now and drawing blood later. Hopefully, the medicines should only have positive results. But you never know with him..."

The waiting hall went silent, the whole team thinking the same thing. It was Kageyama who broke the silence.

"What kind of disease is that he has? Since he hasn t told us much in detail".

"Well his disease is really, REALLY rare. It is a change in the number of red blood cells. They are far too many, which makes the blood run slower than usual. This results in sight problems, unusually tiredness and easily getting dizzy. The fact he fainted was because of the lack of oxygen passing to the brain, which in turn is a result of a thrombus. The medicine is helping to loosen the thrombus and making the blood run a bit faster. Hopefully, we can remove blood by the end of the day..."

"My god..." Both Suga and Hinata looked on the verge of crying. Daichi, who sat beside Suga, tried to comfort his boyfriend by holding his hand. Kageyama, not sure how to handle the situation, tried his best to comfort Hinata by putting his hands on the smaller boy's shoulders and rubbing circles with his thumb.

"Can... Can something be done? I mean, he has lived with it for so many years. Is there really no cure for this?" Suga said with shaky breaths.

"The next step in the evolution is a new disease called Polycythemia Vera. When it gets that far, it cannot be cured". Hinata froze.

"Did you just say... Polycythemia Vera?"

"Hm? You know about it?"

"Is it... really that bad?"

"Is it bad? How bad is it, Hinata?!" Asahi said, almost yelling at Hinata. Said boy flinched but was quickly comforted by Kageyama.

"Azumane. I know that you are worried, we all are. But snapping at people won't help!" He said, almost hugging the smaller boy in front of him.

"You're right... Sorry Hinata" Asahi said, his head hanging.

"So you have some medical knowledge. Then what is the next step, young man? What is the next step in the evolution" The doctor said, surprised that someone at Hinata's age knew about such a disease.

"...Acute... leukemia" The answer almost came in a whisper. The hall went silent again.

"Leukemia?" Daichi asked, not sure if he heard it right.

"That's right. Acute myeloid leukemia, blood cancer. Nishinoya is lucky to be under 60 years old, but that doesn't mean that he is safe. If he develops Polycythemia Vera, the chance that he survives may be smaller. We're not 100% sure". By now neither Suga nor Hinata could hold it anymore, and tears started to fall down their cheeks.

"But all hope is not out yet. He may have been sick for a long time, but that has given us an insight in his condition. And we think we have a solution" The doctor said, a grin growing on his lips.

"Really?!"

"Yes. But the solution itself is a problem. To do it, we might need your help".

"Just do it" Daichi said. "Nishinoya is a member of our team and our friend. We don't leave anyone out". The doctor smiled.

"I'm thankful to hear that. Our solution is to try and remove as much of his blood as possible and replace it with healthy new blood. If the majority of his blood is healthy, then it will force the bone marrow to produce more healthy red blood cells, and hopefully create a balance between the amount of red and white blood cells. But for that we need lot of blood, and our hospital doesn't have that amount for the moment, so we need anyone of you to donate. Nishinoya's blood group is A".

"I have blood group 0, I'll do it" Hinata said.

"I also have A, I'm also in" Asahi said.

"That's great. His mother is also on the way, so we need a few more. Please find more as soon as possible" The doctor asked.

"When... When can we see him?" Asahi asked.

"He is resting now, so he won't wake up in a couple of hours. Come back tomorrow and we'll see". With that, everyone left with heavy steps and hearts.

Next day, Hinata and Asahi along with Tsukishima, Kenma and Ennoshita went to the hospital again. Tsukishima, Kenma and Ennoshita had agreed to come along since they had the same blood group as Nishinoya, and Nekoma wasn' t going to leave anytime soon. Most of them finished quickly and decided to head back to report any news about the situation. Asahi waited for Hinata to finish, to keep the poor boy company if needed, but mostly to see if he could meet Nishinoya.

He hadn't gotten any sleep last night, only worrying about the boy. He already knew since a year back that he was in love with Nishinoya, but he couldn 't help but to be scared whenever Nishinoya spoke to him or tried to lecture him. He wished he didn' t, since he wanted to have a normal conversation with him, to one day hopefully tell him how he feel. But if he fell any further like Hinata and the doctor said, then it would soon be too late.

Hinata came out of the room for the blood donating, a compress fixed to his forearm.

"How did it go?" Asahi asked.

"Not too bad. Had a bit of a bleeding afterwards, though. But that's pretty much it, I'm used to see blood so it's no problem at all" The boy said with his signature smile shining on his face. "The doctor said that Noya had woken up during our absence, so let's go and see him!" He said and took a surprisingly strong grip on his arm, and basically dragged him along the way. They soon arrived outside the door to Nishinoya's room. The door itself had a really small window on the upper half of it, and there was a big window right beside the door. That window covered most of the wall, so visitors and doctors easily could see who was inside. Inside was Nishinoya laying in his bed, looking quite lonely because he was the only one in there. No roommates or other doctors was in sight.

"Come on, let's see him" Asahi didn't have any time before Hinata opened the door and stepped inside. Nishinoya looked a bit paler than usual, but not as pale as yesterday. His hair was down as well, he had probably washed it when he woke up or it was like that this morning. He was staring out the window beside the bed, the sun shined through and coloured the room in a warm and soft yellow colour. When Hinata closed the door, a bit harder than necessary, he noticed them.

"Hinata, Asahi? Hey, guys! Sorry about yesterday…" He said, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it! How are you feeling?" Hinata said.

"A bit better. I'm going to remove a bit blood this afternoon. It was supposed to be done yesterday, but the medicine made me sleep through the entire day" Nishinoya said.

"By the way, I got your bag with me. It was left in the gymnasium when the ambulance came. Thought you might need it at some point" Hinata said and dropped the bag by the bed.

"Oh, thank you Hinata. Had completely forgotten about it..."

"Don't sweat it" Then the room went silent.

"Uhmm... I'm sorry" Nishinoya suddenly said.

"What?"

"I told Hinata, but I didn't told anyone else. I knew that if I made it sound like it wasn't a big deal, then he wouldn't mention it anymore… I just didn't want it to get out to you guys" Nishinoya said, burying his face in his knees, which was covered by the white blanket. He hugged his knees, making him look much smaller than usual. Hinata took the uncomfortable hint and silently left the room. Asahi was left in the room with Nishinoya, obviously not knowing what to do next. Sure he was sad that he hadn't told him anything, but he must have a good reason not to.

"Hey, Nishinoya. Can I ask why you didn't say anything?" He finally said, the silence was breaking him.

"…"

"Please?"

"… I didn't want that to happen again" Nishinoya said.

"What happened?"

"I was 11 when I was first diagnosed. When I told my teachers and friends about it, they started to make everything easier for me. Ridiculously easy, like I wouldn't be able to do it otherwise, probably to make fun of me. And it was simple things that was a piece of cake before, and still were. They started to see me as 'weak', even though I told them it was nothing, I could still do things" He explained. His face was still in his knees, but his shoulder had started to shake slightly.

"I needed something to do, something that no one could complain about that I was weak. My doctor suggested that I'd try any sport, it would help me tackle the disease as well. I tried everything, but it wasn't until Junior High that I found it. We had volleyball one day, and I received a ball on my first try. My teacher was stunned and suggested the volleyball-club for me. I joined, and ended up as a libero. It was perfect for me, not to challenging so I couldn't overwork myself so easily, but still an important role in the match" He looked up and smiled slightly. It wasn't his usual grin, it was an honest, sad smile.

"I was so happy when I came to Karasuno, were no one knew about all of this. I could have a fresh start and be a part of you all. I was so afraid that if I told you, it would end up the same all over again. I tried my best to hide it away from you, coming up with excuses whenever it was time for a hospital visit, or when my disease started to affect me, like it would mostly once every month. But then we postponed my visit this month, to see if it made any difference and I felt no different. And I probably started to train more than usual since I was affected so greatly this time. Usually I just get really dizzy and have sometimes trouble seeing. So, sorry for lying to you for all this time and sorry for begin a burden to you…"

Asahi didn't said anything. He sat on a chair right by the bed, his face serious but otherwise emotionless. Nishinoya flinched at the sight, trying to figure out what the other was possibly thinking.

'I messed up. Oh my god, I messed up so badly! He's probably furious right now!' He thought. 'Please forgive me! Please forgive me, please forgive me...' Nishinoya had been too distracted with hyperventilating, that he hadn't noticed Asahi standing up and walking closer to the bed. The next second, he felt strong warm arms wrapping around him and pulling him close to another body. Asahi let his forehead rest against Nishioya's head, while making circles with his thumbs to calm the other down. Nishinoya flinched at the contact, but soon relaxed as it didn't feel threatening. In fact, it felt really comforting and inviting.

"Schhh… It's okay, Nishinoya. I'm not angry at you" Asahi said.

"Why aren't you?"

"Because I would have done the same. I understand if the thought of being neglected is scary, I know how that feels. And for such a reason as you have, there's no way that I can ever hate you. I believe the other will think the same thing. It's only logical..."

Nishinoya just nodded into his chest, feeling tears threatening to spill over. Asahi noticed the others attempt to wipe them away and pulled back a bit. The sight of Nishinoya with his hair down, eyes red and filled with tears was more than enough to almost break him. He gently stroke his thumbs over Nishinoya's eyes, carefully removing all of it. Then they heard the sound of high-heels quickly walking the corridors. The person in question soon came just outside the door.


	3. Chapter 3

She was a woman in her early forty's, had long black hair (almost the same blue-tinted type as Kageyama) and the same golden-brown eyes as Nishinoya. Her hair was neatly combed and put in a low ponytail that rested over her left shoulder. She wore a tight white t-shirt and tight dark blue jeans, a dark brown handbag hanging over her shoulder. She was panting, like she had just been running. Her eyes was panicked, but still held a quite familiar wildness in them. Judging from all of this, this woman was probably -

"M-mom?" Nishinoya asked. The said woman, now revealed as Mrs. Nishinoya, didn't said anything, too busy catching her breath. "Wh... what are you doing here, mom?"

"What I'm doing here? Isn't it obvious?! I got a phone-call from your doctor and tried to come as quick as I could. It has gotten worse, hasn't it?" She said. Her voice was warm and soft, but at the same time panicked and rushed.

"Is that… so?" Nishinoya's question almost went in slow motion. Both Asahi and Mrs. Nishinoya picked it up, and concern came over them. To Asahi, the others question had sounded like his own mother wouldn't care about him.

"Of course, silly..." Mrs. Nishinoya said softly and walked over to the bed. Asahi moved to the chair again while Mrs. Nishinoya sat down on the edge of the bed. Gently she ran her hand through her son's hair, making him calm down and lean into the touch. Suddenly she turned her head towards Asahi.

"Thank you for looking after him. Especially now when it went like this" She said.

"No problem. He is a great friend of mine, so it's only natural to care for him."

"I'm happy to hear that" Mrs. Nishinoya said, her voice was smooth as honey and warm like any other mothers. Still, she felt somewhat different from most mothers. "Masako Nishinoya" She said and bowed in respect.

"Ah, Asahi Azumane. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Nishinoya" Asahi said and bowed back.

"Now, now. Just call me Masako, no need to be formal with me young man" Masako said with a laugh. She was quite easy-going, sounding right opposite from her son who often liked to speak quite formal and polite. But they shared the same calm composed face and about begin straight-to-the-point. If he guessed right, then she possibly also had the same wild personality that Nishinoya was so famous for.

"O-Okay. Still a pleasure to meet you, Masako-san*. I remember Nishinoya have mentioned you a number of times " Asahi said, still holding on to the little bit of formality he was used to. He watched in amusement as Nishinoya' s face was painted red from embarrassment, and he stared down into his bed.

"Was… was that really necessary, Asahi?" He said, feeling his face becoming hot.

"Now then, Yū. Why get embarrassed over such a thing?" Masako said, teasing her poor little son. This of course made him even redder in his face, and hide his whole face in his knees. The action only made his mother laugh.

"Hahaha. If you weren't already so like me, now you're even more like myself in your age" She said. He pushed her lightly with his hand, only making her sway a bit. She giggled a bit, already knowing that he would have a fit if she continued. So she once again stroke her hand through his hair.

"So, how are you feeling now? Still dizzy?"

"A bit, but not so much. The doctor have said that I can remove blood today, but they haven't said any specific time for it. Maybe in the afternoon" Nishinoya said. His mother nodded.

"That's good. When do they think you can be released from here?" She said. Nishinoya shock his head.

"I don't know. By testing this new method, it could take days…" He was just about to say another word, but stopped when a wave a dizziness went through him. He held his head in his hands, trying his best to calm down. Masako patted his head a bit, before making him lay down.

"You need rest. Sleep a bit, and we can talk later" She said. Nishinoya just nodded. He soon fell asleep, and Asahi prepared to walk back to practice.

"Asahi?" Masako suddenly said.

"Yes?"

"Could we talk for a bit? Maybe over a coffee?" She asked.

"Yeah, sure" Asahi said, feeling a bit uneasy. They walked down to the cafeteria on the bottom floor, and she offered him a cup of coffee.

"So, what did you want to talk about? Is it about Nishinoya?" Asahi said. Masako sighed and nodded.

"Yes. I want to know how he is doing here. Since we no longer live under the same roof... Or in the same town for that matter" She looked down in her black drink.

"As much as I know, he is doing just fine. Well, I don't spend much time with him outside of school. But I think he's doing well, except for yesterday..." Masako sighed again, a bit louder this time.

"I knew he was going to be affected. Still I told him not to worry about it..."

"About what?" The woman looked surprised at first, but soften soon after.

"Me and my 'husband' are getting divorced, or it's more that I getting divorced from him. I told him two days ago, telling him not to worry anymore about me" She said. She had almost a disgusted tone on the word 'husband'. Asahi just somehow knew there was something more to it.

"I understand if the thought of having his beloved parents having a divorce, it would affect anyone" He said, hoping it would give some kind of reaction.

"'Beloved'? Hehe, is that how he described it?" She said, chuckling a bit.

"No, is there something wrong with that?" Asahi asked, suddenly unsure about the situation. The woman looked like she searched for the right word.

"Well, it's just... Yū hasn't liked his father for many, many years. His constant neglecting of his own son has changed his way of thinking and acting, even to the point of hating himself" She stopped for a moment. "Has he ever said anything about his childhood?"

"N-no. I don't know anything before he joined the volleyball club at Karasuno High" She smiled.

"So he still plays... That makes me really happy" She took a sip of the almost cold drink, thought for a moment before talking any further.

"Yū was diagnosed at the age of eleven. Before that his father was like anyone else, mostly proud of him. His only dislike was Yu's interest in painting and drawing. But when he was asked to pick a sport to battle his disease, he didn't like any sport that his father suggested. I supported his choice when he started to play volleyball, happy that he had finally found something new to play. But his father was enraged, to the point of neglecting him as his child. He would scream at him when Yū got home or after dinner. I tried at first to stop it whenever it happened, but I soon noticed it was... dare I say it... pointless. So when he was going to start high school, I told him to choose a school far away. He agreed, but only as long as the school had a volleyball club" She smiled at the memory. Asahi was frozen in place. Sure, Nishinoya NEVER spoke of his father but still. To think that it was this bad...

"Does he never speak with him?"

"No. Yū says he want's nothing to do with him, but I know that deep down he just wants to be accepted by his father. But in this pace, he never will…" Masako said in a sad tone, her head hanging slightly. Asahi could only listen, but tried to picture Nishinoya begin mentally abused by his own father. To think that that man refused to see this beautiful and awesome boy as his son, just because said boy likes to draw and play volleyball, made him feel sick. Sure, his own father was almost never home, but he knew deep down that his father loved him and supported him in whatever he do. And Nishinoya seemed to be just like him, like any other normal teenage boys. But that turned out to be false, because this boy had been through hardship in the majority of his life. And he was a genius who could hide it so well.

"Why would he blame himself for your divorce? Shouldn't he be more… happy about it?" He asked, not sure if it was alright to ask. Masako smiled sadly at him.

"Yes, he should. But as we know, he doesn't. I believe he blames himself for the divorce, probably thinking: 'If only I wasn't so strange' or 'If I just hadn't been born'. Something like that..."

"…" Asahi gritted his teeth.

"That's why I came here, to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, and to try and make up for all these years. The man is still an asshole, but I can't stand the thought of losing my only child!" Masako said, almost at the verge of tears. But just like her precious son, she not about to let anyone see. So she wiped her tears away and took a deep breath.

"That's why I'm so happy that he got just what he wanted. He got into the school he wanted, he got friends that cared for him and he have met people who doesn't judge him for his disease or his height... So thank you, Asahi. For the few phone-calls we've had, I know for a fact that he really likes you and looks up to you". When she told Asahi about Nishinoya's hidden feelings, his face felt like it was on fire. To think that Nishinoya would feel anywhere the same as he did, it was almost unbelievable. But at the same time, he was both happy and worried. Happy that the other felt the same, but worried that he maybe would lose him.

"So if you planned of asking him out and dating him, I'll give my full permission" And he felt like he would die of embarrassment.

"No, let's go and look at Yū. Hopefully he is better now after some rest" Masako said and stood up. She threw her paper cup, which still had a small bit of coffee left, in the trashcan and started to walk away. It was clear that even if she was good at hiding her real feelings, she was really touched by the situation. Well, who wouldn't be if their child was in hospital with a maybe lethal disease?


	4. Chapter 4

Halfway through the long corridors, the doctor from earlier came. He looked like in a bit of a hurry.

"Oh, good that you're here! We'll have to remove blood from Yū now, but he needs someone with him. Just to keep him calm…" The doctor said.

"I'll do it. I kind of own him…" Asahi said. The doctor nodded and turned around.

"You're sure about this? You don't want me to do it?" Masako said.

"Well, you're his mother so if you want to it's okay for me. But I feel like I really do own him, so I want to do this. Please, just this once… Asahi said. Masako smiled at him.

"That's okay. After all, from what I've heard you're one of his closest friends. And because of that, what right do I have to push you away?" She said and turned to the doctor. "How is he doing now?"

"Well, he is still sleeping for now. But we can't wait any longer. The longer the wait, the faster the disease is going to recur. So we have to wake him up and start with the blood-transfer."

"Do you have the right amount of blood then? Last time I checked you still missed some deciliters…" Asahi said. The doctor just looked at him.

"I assume that you didn't meet them. There were a few more students from Nekoma who came in and gave more blood. They were also the ones who told me where you were. So now, we have the right amount."

"More Nekoma players?" Asahi asked in surprise. Sure, he had expected someone from the team to give blood. But he never expected more people to give after Kenma's visit. He had probably asked more people to drop by. When they reached Nishinoya's room, the doctor asked Masako to answer some questions while Asahi was with her son. It was just to get a 'clearer picture' of how he dealed with the disease in his childhood and possible reason for him having it. Masako nodded and was directed to another room.

"And for you who are staying with Nishinoya, you need to have him staying calm. Many times before, he have had lot's of mental break-downs while the process took place. I believe it's because it reminds him of his childhood or his own picture of himself as some kind of failure. Because we are removing so much blood, he will feel tired after a while and will maybe even faint. About the same as at the game. But it will be fine as long as he stays calm and collected. If he shows any signs of getting discomforted or breaking down, just calmly talk him out of it. Okay?" Asahi just nodded.

The doctor then opened the door and greeted the other nurses and doctors in the room. They had already connected different tubes and needles to his forearms, as well as connecting an ECG monitor, through amplifiers, to his left forefinger and chest under his shirt. He looked like a complete mess. The nurses and doctors looked up when the new people was noticed, quickly finished their task and left the room.

"We will have a nurse or doctor who comes and check on you every ten minutes. If something would happen during their absence, we have so you can call someone. And so you know, since you are such a close friend of his: just like any other surgery or anything alike, there is a risk of him dying. Since we are removing blood from his body without directly giving new, there is a risk of his body giving-up or shut down. So I would recommend you to spend every minute you can with him" The doctor said. The air in the room suddenly felt cold and hollow, like the breath of death itself was present during the doctor's speech. Even if he had come to the conclusion that the other might die, the thought once again came down on him with full force. . And it felt terrible and unimaginable. For the Karasuno team and the entire school, Nishinoya's smiles and hyper energy was pretty much eternal, something that just couldn't go out or disappear. But just like them he was human, he would die one day. Whenever they liked it or not, they had to deal with it.

"How... How big is the risk?" Asahi asked. The doctor sighed heavily.

"To be honest, we don't know. Not in his current state..."

"I understand..." Asahi said and sat down by the bed. With that, the doctor left the room and left an empty hollow and insecure feeling after him. He sat down on the chair by the bed, silently watching the other younger boy sleep peacefully. His black hair framed his small face, lightly falling over his cheeks and nose. His skin was ghostly white, and the white hospital clothes he wore didn't help the matter. It only made him look smaller, giving the impression that he hadn't eaten enough or stopped growing too soon. His face was for once relaxed and steady light breathes escaped through his nose, which helped Asahi relax knowing that the other wasn't in pain. At least not now…

Asahi tried to summer up everything he had learned these two days. One: Nishinoya have been mentally and maybe even physically abused by his own father, who he even had looked up to. Second: He likes to draw and paint during his childhood. Well, he has seen him sitting on the side of the court, when he have been sick, with some kind of paper. Maybe it can even be a sketchpad or something like that, anything works after all. Third: He has suffered through four years of an almost untreatable disease, and almost two years without telling anyone. Suffering for four years, all alone.

The smaller boy opened his eyes, but the former light in the golden brown irises seemed dim, like the dim feeling after a blown out candle. His stiff movements showed tiredness and exhaustion even after only begin asleep for a few minutes. It was clear since long that it was the fault of the medicines he had been given, not because of any lacking of sleep. He scanned the room, quickly noticing the new tools and tubes on his arms. He let out a heavy sigh, probably already knowing what s coming next. Only after turning his head to the right he noticed Asahi, who hadn't said anything yet.

"Asa… hi?" Nishinoya asked, his voice drained of all it's energy, leaving it weak and hoarse. Asahi tried his best to have a constant smile on.

"Yeah, I'm here. How are you feeling?"

"My head feels weird, and my... arm is sore on some spots... Must be the needles. Is it time already?" He asked, his face telling openly that he was scared. Asahi stroke his hand gently over Nishinoya's, hoping it would calm the other.

"Yeah, it's time. Don't worry, I will be here with you this time. So there is no need for worrying."

"Will you stay here... the entire time?" Nishinoya asked, almost sounding like a plea. The thought of going through another blood removal alone was something he rather avoided. So having comfort in the form of Asahi, it just couldn't be better. But he needed to stay strong, not showing any weakness. So he tried to keep his voice as neutral as he could, but he knew how hard it would be in this situation. He would have to give in, just for a little bit. Pretend it is because of the medicines and not his psyche.

"Yes, the _entire_ time. I kind of own you one, after all the things you have done for me. Or do you rather want me to leave?" Asahi asked, grinning a bit afterwards. Even if the situation was serious, he couldn't help but tease the other.

"NO! No, please... Don't leave, stay here..." Nishinoya said, the thought of Asahi leaving him alone scared him more than the blood removal.

Asahi regretted his words at once after seeing Nishinoya's hurt expression. He would never hurt the other, and yet that was what he was doing right now. He had heard of the other breakdowns, but still he decided to play with them. And the result hurt him so much.

"Okay, I'll stay. Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you..." He quickly said. The other seemed to relax a bit.

"Thank you..." He said, his voice even weaker. Asahi turned his chair, so it face the bed fully. That was he would feel more present, and hopefully that would be better for the younger boy. A nurse came into the room. She checked on Nishinoya and told how the process of the removal went. She then activated a small machine by the bed, and soon the dark-red blood came rushing through the tubes. Nishinoya seemed tense, but didn' t resist. He knew that it had to be done. After doing a last check, the nurse left but not before telling them that she would be back in 30-45 minutes to check up on them. She then left, the room fell in silence once more.

"Hey, Noya?" Asahi asked.

"Hmm?"

"Why haven't you told anybody? About your disease, you living alone and your father?" He asked. Nishinoya flinched at the mention of his father, just saying it made his body grow cold. His eyes went wide, and for a moment it looked like he was about to break down.

"H... How did you find out?" He asked weakly.

"I got your mother to tell me. I was worried about you, and you always keep things to yourself. You don' t always have to carry the burden alone. If you had told us, we could have helped you sooner. Even if all we can do to help is to give blood and keep you company, we would do whatever we could to make you feel better..." Asahi stopped talking, realizing this was his first time talking to him like this.

Nishinoya sat quietly as the other talked. This was the first time Asahi has ever talked to him like this, with his voice filled with so much worry. He didn't like it, he didn't want Asahi to worry about him. He should be back with the others, not sitting in here with him. The disease was not to blame, HE was.


	5. Chapter 5

Asahi noticed how shocked and quiet the other was, but he knew that Nishinoya was feeling so much more than shocked. He was like an open book sometimes, sometimes really easy to understand and sometimes not. Right now he seemed confused, shocked but also a bit sad. Then he remembered what his mother had told him earlier, that Nishinoya had probably blamed himself for the divorce, and that was probably why he looked so sad right now. He is blaming himself again, probably because he is here now and not with the others in the gymnasium. He needed something to change the subject with...

On the table by the bed was an old light-blue vase, filled with different kinds of flowers. Some were yellow, some white but one kind stood out. An blood-red one that he had never seen before.

"That's some nice flowers you got there, Noya" He said, lighting the atmosphere a bit.

"They really are, right? Truth to be told, it was a present from Oikawa and Iwaizumi from Seijou. They came in this morning. I was really surprised to see them, but it was a nice surprise" Nishinoya said, smiling a bit.

"Oikawa and Iwaizumi? What were they doing here?" Asahi asked, starting to feel unsure again.

"No clue, Oikawa said that he wanted to see how I was doing, and Iwaizumi probably just tagged along..."

"Hasn't Oikawa just recently been to hospital himself? What was it, a head injury?"

"Yes, something like that. I think he got a skull fracture, poor guy. Well, he joked and said that he knew how it is to be locked in..." Nishinoya said and chuckled a bit. Asahi felt relieved when he saw him smiling like that.

"I know most of the flowers, but what kind is that red one?" Nishinoya turned his head.

"Oh that one. It's a higanbana*, one of my favourite flowers" He said.

"I don't think I've seen it before..."

"Have you never been to a cemetery before? They usually bloom there or around rivers, usally all over the place".

"Why would I ever step my foot into a cemetery?! You know how well I can take that!" Nishinoya started to chuckle again.

"Yeah, sorry. Totally forgot about that. Well, since they almost always bloom around cemeteries they are considered a flower of bad luck. But they are so pretty that I really can't stop liking them... When Iwaizumi saw them, he nearly tore poor Oikawa to shreds, until I said stop. Apparently Oikawa also didn't know..."

The machine kept on making slow beeping sounds every now and then, but the two boys didn't notice. They kept talking about random thing, mostly about the 'cursed' higanbana and other things.

"Isn't it anywhere near town where you can watch them?" Asahi asked. Nishinoya thought about it for a moment.

"I think it does. I believe there is a big field in the forest around Shoyou's house..." They both fell silent.

"Hey, Nishinoya... "

"Hmm?"

"When you get to leave the hospital... what do you say about visiting the fields?" Nishinoya stared at him in disbelief.

"You mean the entire team? I don't know if that's within their interests…" But Asahi just shake his head.

"No, I mean... that WE would go. The two of us" He said, his voice a bit shaky with embarrassment.

It took a while for the information to sink in, but when it did, Nishinoya's face lit up in a scarlet red. He didn't mean it as a... Did he?

"Uhm... Do you- I mean... D-do you mean it as-"

"A date… yeah" Asahi's face was also red. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.

"Nishinoya Yū, even though we haven't known each other for that long, I really like you. You have helped me a lot, and you have always supported me, no matter what. You always find ways to make a grey day better. You are really strong, not only physically but also mentally. You always think of others before yourself, and you never want to be a burden to anyone. But you'll never be a burden, no matter the situation. People likes and respects and envy you, myself included, and want to be like you. You are a source of inspiration, and I want to be the person you can talk to when you have problems of your own. If you ever have a problem or feel down, you know that I'm always here for you. And I love you... More than anything."

Nishinoya sat silent on the bed, to shocked to say anything. Even though he had kept his true feelings hidden from everyone, he had somehow wished for them to someday be answered. He had liked Asahi for quite some time now, but had been too scared to say anything. He also didn't deserve it, for himself to be happy with someone else, especially not another boy. But that hadn't stopped the feelings of wanting the others attention and affection to stop, in fact it had just kept on growing and growing. Even to the point of him starting to dislike himself again, wanting Asahi to find happiness that didn't involve him.

But yet here they are, Asahi just confessed to him and his biggest wish come true. Asahi liked him back? What could possibly Asahi have seen in him, to make him fall in love with him? He wasn't handsome, not smart and he certainly wasn't tall. Instead he was short, fragile in both spirit and body, and the opposite to smart. To have big, smart and handsome Asahi fall for him, that just seemed so weird and impossible.

"Yū, if you are blaming yourself, stop it!" Asahi said, his voice suddenly all serious and cold. It wasn't like the normal Asahi at all. He was more like the Asahi on court, but with a colder tone.

"You are not to blame at all! Like I said, you are so much more than you think you are. Whatever your father have told you, none of that is true! Nishinoya looked up at him, his eyes a bit blank and glassed over.

"How can you tell?! What if that's actually the case? What do you actually see in me?!"

"I know that because he can't see what I see" Asahi said and stroke Nishinoya's cheek. "You maybe aren't smart in any school subjects, but you are really smart when it comes to people and volleyball. To not talk about drawing. And your father, he simply can't understand what a beautiful and wonderful son he has."

Nishinoya felt his eyes begin filled with tears, but since his entire body was drained of it's strength, he didn't wipe them away. He shouldn't cry, not in front of Asahi. He was supposed to be the strong one... But here he was, almost crying and slowly showing his inner self. Even though he desperately tried to calm down, it was hopeless. Asahi had probably done the before seemed impossible: given him new hope. He had given him hope with these words. And yet, it felt like he didn't deserve it. He was sick, weak and simply useless. An _actor_ who hides his true hideous self by playing another role.

But just for a moment, isn't it okay for even such an actor to live in happiness?

"R... really?" Asahi smiled.

"Yeah, 100% sure, and nothing will change that. There's no need to hide anymore."

And Nishinoya broke. Tears ran down his cheeks in small rivers, coloured gold by the sun's light. His recent tense body relaxed, and gave in to the wave of relief and joy that ran through him. Gentle breaths fell from his lips, surpassing eventual sobs from escaping instead. Asahi pulled him closer into a warm embrace, to remind him that comfort existed there for him. After a few minutes, the other calmed down enough to breath and talk normally. The sound of the machine had speed up a bit, but was now slowing down. Asahi gently stroke away the tears from the others face, making a last bit of comfort. Nishinoya was regaining his breath, and could soon focus again on his blood removal.

The two kept talking about random stuff, mostly about volleyball but also a bit but their old schools, stupid teachers, their interests outside school and lot more. Nishinoya also showed some of his drawings from his sketchbook, variating from flowers, birds and landscapes to people and human anatomy.

Asahi did most of the talking, mostly because he was so excited that Nishinoya was getting better but also because the other was far too tired to talk like he used to. But he still listened with big enthusiasm as the other spoke, listening to the warm smooth voice fill the small room, making the room a little more bright and cheerful. Soon after, a nurse came and checked on them. Noticing that Nishinoya's blood pressure was dropping, the nurse said that she would be back soon.

Nishinoya listened as her footsteps left, noticing that he heard them a bit less than he should. Thinking it was because of his blood loss, he didn't think further about it. Until he realized that he had trouble listening to Asahi talking to him. The others voice sounded more and more like he was under water, his voice sounded distorted and far away. He tried his best to only focus on Asahi's voice, clinging to it like a lifeline. But the more he struggled, the more tired and numb he felt. Like he was sinking further away from him.

Asahi had kept talking on, but realized that the other had stopped responding with his small nods or small 'yes' and 'no'. He was silent and almost looked like he was sleeping. His eyes were half closed and was missing any signs of focus or life. He quickly took a look at the ECG.

The line was straight. There was no heartbeat.


	6. Chapter 6

Time felt like it had stopped. Just seconds ago, the other had been focused on him and talked some to him. But now he was gone, his heart no longer beating. Since he hadn't enough blood to bump around, it gave up the fight. Like a dying plant that refuse to take in water or sunshine.

Since his heartbeat stopped, the machine sent a warning to the doctors and nurses, and they came running into the room. The doctor from before gently escorted him out of the room, while the other prepared to insert the new blood in an operation room. While the doctor sat Asahi down on a couch in the corridor, Masako came, obvious to the sudden change of atmosphere and that Asahi wasn't in the patient room. The doctor quickly filled her in and then as quickly left.

Seconds became minutes and finally hours. After two hours, the rest of the Karasuno team came, having got a message from Asahi that things didn't look good. When they arrived, they saw Asahi sitting on a bench, along with another woman. Just when Daichi was going to call out to him, the doctor from earlier came out. Asahi stood up and seemed to ask him something, but since they were so far away they couldn't hear anything.

Asahi's face was serious when they talked, and the woman's became more and more scared and panicked. Even Asahi's face became more panicked as they talked. The doctor was calm the entire time, but he looked exhausted and somewhat sad. Finally the doctor ended their conversation and walked away, leaving the two persons in shock and what looked like grief. As the group walked up to them, Asahi sat down again, his elbows resting against his knees and his face hidden away in his palms. He was shaking, and so was the woman. Tears was streaming down her cheeks, and one hand was covering her mouth, all while her body shook terribly. No one said anything.

A pang of relation came upon the group. And everything stopped…

The woman's sobs became louder and louder, and although Asahi was mostly quiet, a few sobs of his own came now and then. The rest of the team was silent. No one dared to say anything, too scared to make the situation worse than it already was. After all, Nishinoya had-

"He was so close, and yet…" Asahi suddenly said quietly. Everyone snapped up at him.

"A… Asahi?" Suga tried calling out. Asahi snapped up at the voice, realizing the group was there. His eyes were red from crying in silence, and his face was slightly pale from the constant worrying.

"Ah… you guys" He wiped away the tears from his eyes and cheeks. "Sorry for looking like a mess…"

"Ah, don't worry about it!" Suga quickly said, still sounding like the worrying 'mother' he was. "So, uhm… How did it…" He tried asking how things went, but the words got stuck in his throat.

"Oh, that's right. You haven't been here since yesterday… So I guess you didn't heard what the doctor just said" He said, smiling a bit sadly. Suga felt a lump in his chest, not daring to say anything more.

"Well… during my stay in his room, his heart suddenly stopped beating. He was rushed into surgery to more forcefully emptying his body of blood, and they then filled with the new one. But he wouldn't wake up… so…" He gave an exhausted sad laugh, slight scratching his chin.

"Thankfully, he will have it much better now" Masako said and also smiled, although hers seemed more warm. The hall went silent again. Hinata had tears forming in his eyes, while Kageyama held his hand, trying to comfort him. Yamaguchi seemed calm, simply looking away, but he too was close to tearing up.

"Well, I guess I'll go and see him now. Do you guys want to tag along?" Asahi asked. Daichi looked slightly shocked.

"What?"

"?" Asahi looked at him. "What's wrong? You don't want to?" He asked, looking confused.

"Ah, no but…"

"He'll be sad if you don't, you know that right?" Asahi said, laughing. Now Daichi was REALLY confused.

"What?"

"Just what is up with you? You seriously didn't hear a word? Nishinoya woke up just a few minutes ago, recovering at the moment".

Everything stopped again. Everyone was thinking the same thing. Nishinoya was alive? How, because didn't Asahi just said….

"Hey, are you coming along? Otherwise I'll just leave" Asahi said. Everyone looked at each other, before they started walking after Asahi.

Nishinoya was laying on a hospital bed in a new room, still having some tubes connected to his arms. One new thing was the gas mask that covered his mouth and nose, giving him extra oxygen. He also had a huge set of bandage around his left and right arm, covering his entire elbow, as well as half of his biceps and forearm. It looked like he had some kind of compress under it, just under the bend of the arm. He looked really tired, which wasn't surprising since he just returned from surgery. As Asahi walked over to the bed, Nishinoya slowly opened his eyes and turned his head slightly.

"A…sa…hi?" He managed to say, so soft and quiet that it was almost impossible to hear it. Asahi just smiled at him.

"Hi, Nishinoya. I'm glad to see that the surgery went well" He said. Nishinoya just smiled as an answer. Masako also walked up to the bed.

"The doctor said that you will be staying here for a longer period than they had originally thought. Maybe a month at most, but depending on your development, they may change the time for your stay. So hopefully, you'll be able of finishing the recovering at home on your own, which I think would be the best for you". Her son nodded softly, his eyes looking hopefully for the first time in a long while.

"Hi, Noya" Hinata suddenly said. Nishinoya turned his head towards the group, looking surprised.

"I texted them when you were taken into surgery, they came not too long ago" Asahi explained. Again, Nishinoya just nodded and smiled towards the group.

"We heard you had a real role-coaster, but thankfully you survived. How are you feeling?" Daichi immediately regretted the question, as he noticed that Nishinoya was far too weak to even speak. But even so, he managed to rise his arm slightly, his hand flat and shaked it a bit.

"I take it as a 'so-so', I guess" Daichi said, chuckling a bit. Nishinoya just smiled and laid his arm back down on the bed.

"Well" Hinata then said. "Noya is probably tired after all of this, so why don't we all go home and come back tomorrow? He's probably better by then" He said and smiled to the boy on the bed. Nishinoya felt that the team was blessed the moment this guy joined. It was sometimes like having Suga x2. The other's smiled as well.

"You're right, Hinata. It have been a long day after all. We'll just come back tomorrow then, Noya!" Tanaka said. The other also said their goodbye's and then left. Asahi stayed in the room, maybe a couple of hours before he also left.


	7. Chapter 7

The day after was… nerve racking. The doctors and nurses did lot's and LOT'S of tests to make sure that the blood reacted as it was supposed to. The worse part was probably that they couldn't do anything to help Nishinoya or the tests. They had done their job... Asahi patted his foot on the floor, impatiently, as did Yamaguchi with his hands on his knees. The doctors told them not to worry too much, which was pretty much impossible. Suga tried to calm everyone down, even though himself was pretty shaken and worried. After some more agonising minutes, NIshinoya's doctor came back to them.

"How does it look?" Asahi asked at once. The doctor looked at him surprised, but then simply laughed.

"He'll be fine. The tested showed a positive result, so he is going to get better. We'll be keeping him for at most two weeks, but he should start playing for another one-two months. He is a quick healing though, so depending on how fast he is recovering, he might come back sooner" He said. Everyone sighed in relief, their worries lifted from their shoulders. He would be fine, and that was what mattered the most.

"He does however-" The doctor suddenly said. "Have problem walking after the fainting and from everything else, so when you visit you can try to walk with him in the corridors. Just to get him some kind of exercise".

"That won't be any problem" Suga said. "Is it okay to visit him?" The doctor smiled again.

"He won't stop asking after you guys. He really miss you, so a visit will only do him good" He said. The team thanks him and then march away to Nishinoya's room. As expected, he sat in his bed with his sketch block and pencil in hand. He looked deep in thought as he was drawing, his mind and focus solely on the white paper in front of him. His face was still a bit pale, but his cheeks was painted in a light shade of pink. The dark bags under his eyes was almost gone, and he looked more relaxed. The soft sound of the pencil against the paper echoed in the room, giving a more relaxed, but somewhat empty, feeling to the room. The sun was shining through the window, it's warm light lightening the mood. Begin the mood-destroyer that he is, Daichi decided to knock on the door frame. Startled by the sudden noise, Nishinoya stopped drawing and quickly turned his head.

"Hey guys. No need to startle people like that, you know" He said, slightly panting from the surprise.

"I agree, Daichi. That was really uncool" Tanaka said. Hinata, Suga and Yamaguchi all nodded their heads in agreement. Daichi scratched the back of his head.

"Well, maybe I was…" He said, chuckling slightly. "How are you doing today?"

"Much better. Still sore in my arms though… Makes it hard to sit up in the morning" He said, laughing. The others smiled at him, happy that he was getting better.

"The doctors said that your tests looked good, so hopefully you don't have to stay here much longer and can start rehabilitation at home" Asahi said with a smile.

And sure enough, after two weeks was he allowed home. Although he refused to stay away from practice, he didn't take part until his doctor gave him thumbs up. And as soon as he did-

"ALRIGHT GUYS! LOOK WHO'S BACK ON COURT!"


End file.
